Me, controlling?

L. has told me that I am controlling. Really? I feel like the biggest push over ever. Does it make me controlling if I am trying to do what I feel is in the best interests of my children and he doesn't like it? In that sense, I suppose I am controlling, just not for the purpose he seems to think. I don't really like to be told I am controlling and part of me wants to cave in so I won't be controlling. But then I am being manipulated. I like that even less.

In this instance, he wants to take all the kids for an overnight at his parent's house, an hour and a half from home. L. barely has any contact with the kids any more. He doesn't even call them - I have the kids call him once a week. The younger two barely know who he is. He does not live in the state we do, either. They haven't seen him for six weeks. And this is probably the shortest time in 2 1/2 years they have gone before seeing him again. the older kids will be fine going to his parents house over night. No big deal. I'm concerned about the younger ones. Actually, the 9 year old will also be fine. Not sure about the 6 year old. Really concerned about the 3 year old. Don't think he'll be ok at all.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I have a court order saying that he needs to have two months of every-other-weekend parenting time with the younger three before he gets an overnight so they can get to know him again. He wants them all to go because he will have his parents there to help (he does pretty much nothing to care for the kids) and the three adults can certainly handle six kids, right? But, what if those three adults are not well-known to the younger kids. They don't see much of grandma and grandpa, either. the youngest has been to their house once in 2 1/2 years and not much before that. So he doesn't know the house and he doesn't know the people. Great.